


the cut that always bleeds

by spideysbi



Series: yes i’m changing [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Coming Out, Gay Mike Wheeler, Gay Will Byers, Internalized Homophobia, Lots of Crying, M/M, This hurts, Will is a good Friend, also season 3 didnt happen bc fuck that, byler, mike needs to stop bottling his emotions my baby :(, so much crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23600812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideysbi/pseuds/spideysbi
Summary: mike finally accepts the truth
Relationships: Will Byers & Mike Wheeler, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Series: yes i’m changing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698805
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	the cut that always bleeds

Mike doesn’t know how he ended up here, sitting at his desk sobbing into his hands, his family downstairs completely unaware of their son’s turmoil. 

He’s having a hard time breathing, constantly inhaling shortly and hastily without enough air to get rid of the pain in his chest. His mind is spiraling, again. He has a tendency to let things build up, to not cry, to not show the negative emotions due to his parental influence that _men don’t cry._ He regrets it now, because his brain feels like its going to explode.

For months, _years_ even, Mike has kept his feelings hidden and locked away. Those feelings involving his sexuality, and his best friend of 10 years, Will Byers. Everytime his mind starts to wander, and he starts to even attempt to think about Will in a more-than-friendly-way, he stops himself, forces himself to think about girls, kissing girls, being with girls, anything to convince himself he’s fucking _normal,_ even though the idea of being with any girl makes him feel uncomfortable.

He never put a label on these feelings, because he was and is terrified, terrified of what would happen if someone found out. But tonight, he couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like a flip switched in his head, or the imaginary dam in his mind keeping the emotions away broke through and they all came flooding in without a chance to stop them.

“I’m gay” he chokes out to himself, still breathing shakily. This is the first time he’s ever said this out loud, let alone in his own head, and he’s disgusted. He wants to throw up, or hide away, or worse.

_____

  
  


Mike doesn’t go to school the next day, he tells his mom that he’s sick and she somehow believes him, despite him being a terrible liar, and he goes back to sleep until the late afternoon, desperately trying not to cry again.

He wakes up at around 4 pm to a clinking sound against his window. He ignores it at first, thinking it might be a bird or a tree, but the sound continues for another 10 seconds or so. He gets up swiftly, which makes him dizzy for a second considering how dehydrated he is from crying, and looks out of his two story window to see Will Byers standing below, a handful of pebbles in his hand that he presumably had been throwing at Mike’s window, his bike beside him. Will is the last person he wants to see due to his embarassing feelings, but he’s also the only person he wants to see. He wants to cry into his arms, but the idea of Will finding out what a freak he is scares him.

Mike slides his window open with one hand, and rubs his eyes with the other; he wasn’t expecting to be woken up and his body still feels half asleep.

Will lays his bike on the ground with that careful precision he has with everything. “Your parents aren’t home and no one was answering the door” he yells, “Can I come in?”

Mike didn’t even notice his family was gone, his Mom and Holly probably went out to run errands considering Nancy is off to college and unable to babysit, and she didn’t want to leave Holly alone considering Mike was fast asleep, and his Dad was probably at work. His family is like that, going out and doing things without bothering to tell him.

Mike opens his front door to Will standing outside, he has a smile on his face, but it quickly fades when he sees how disheveled Mike looks. Mike should’ve known better to make himself look less like he had been sobbing all night long last night, now Will is _definitely_ going to ask him about it.

“You weren’t at school today, I missed- I was worried... are you okay?” His tone is so soft and loving, and Mike isn’t surprised he feels the way he does about Will. No one has ever cared for him as much as he does.

“I- I’m fine, just caught a cold”, he lies, and he can tell Will sees right through him, he’s not stupid, he’s seen Mike at his best and at his worse, and vice versa, he knows what a post-crying Mike looks like.

“Mike, you don’t have to lie to me”, he says as Mike anxiously taps his foot on the tiled floor, his eyes seemingly glued to it. “What’s wrong? I’m here for you, you know that right? Crazy together?” he gently touches Mike’s arm as he says this, which isn’t helping Mike hide what he’s feeling in any way. But he knows Will’s right, besides, Mike was the one who initially said those two words on Halloween night a year ago, it was almost like a vow, a vow to always be there for his best friend, despite any of the chaos that goes on in their lives.

“You won’t judge me, if I- y’know- if I tell you this, right?” Mike hates the way he stutters over his words constantly, as if English isn’t his first language.

Will frowns in a way that says _“Mike, cmon, of course not, you know me”,_ and Mike nods in response, sighing. “I have this habit of bottling up my emotions, you know this”, Will nods for him to continue.

“Well, last night, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was just doing homework, and before you know it I was crying! It’s- it’s pathetic I know, but that’s not the point.” The lump in his throat is forming for the second time in the last 24 hours, and he prays to whatever god is out there that he doesn’t cry again.

“Will, you know how much I care about you. You’re the most important person to me, I come to you for everything, you come to me, a-and I feel like we have a really strong bond, yknow?” Will looks confused but also appreciative of Mike’s words, like he doesn’t quite understand what he’s trying to say, and Mike doesn’t even notice that his eyes are glassy.

“Anyway, uh- I’ve been hiding something- well, not necessarily _hiding_ it, but ignoring it? Because it’s bad. It’s really bad.” Will suddenly takes Mike’s hand, and looks at him sternly.

“ _Mike_ , you can tell me anything. I’m never going to judge you, I mean it, okay?” He doesn’t let go of Mike’s hand, and instead grips it tighter. Mike wipes his eyes before continuing.

  
  


“Will, I- I think I’m, well- I _am,_ uh- gay. Yeah, I’m gay” He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and he prepares himself for Will to be disgusted, to never want to speak to Mike again. Instead, he has a soft look on his face, completely different from his assured expression from earlier.

“You are?” He’s barely over a whisper when he says it, his hand still holding on to Mike’s. The taller boy nods, swallowing loudly, trying to do anything to get rid of the goddamn lump in his throat that never seems to go away. Will is silent for a moment, a seemingly shocked expression on his face, which worries Mike. _He’s disgusted with you._

“Mike… I am too. I thought I was- I thought I was alone.” he lets out a choked sob at the last part, finally letting go of Mike’s hands to cover his face, as if he thinks Mike will judge him for crying. And then it hits Mike like a truck. He’s not alone. He’s not a freak. The best person in his life understands. He feels like breaking down in sobs from the intensity of this realization, as he pulls his best friend into a hug like his life depends on it, like this is the last time they’re seeing eachother, Mike doesnt let go for what feels like hours, before pulling away.

“Mike, you have no idea how… relieved I am to hear you say that. And _proud._ ” His voice breaks again. “I know how hard it is to come to terms with that, it’s fucking terrifying.” Mike nods in agreement, sniffling wetly and letting out shakey breaths.

He hugs Will again, and he figures he doesn’t need to tell him about his feelings just yet, because he’s already so emotionally drained, and he figures he’ll just mess it up if he tries to say it right now. All that matters is he has someone who gets him, _truly_ gets him in a way his mom, dad, sisters, or anyone never could or will. Mike Wheeler is gay, and he’s okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!!! <3


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